Ride Me Hard.

Santa never brought me any presents, so every year little knifey used to make his own presents.

This year I wanted a 67 RS Camaro, so I drew me one.
(Pink sky optional).



Vroom Vroom !!!

On a side note (coz we all know I love them so), I want to bitch and moan about Channel 7's God-awful Xmas promo ads.

You just know some talentless fuckwit upstairs had a brainwave...

"I know!" thought fuckwit, "Let's get a bunch of actors/presenters who are all on a contract (and therefore need not be paid for their involvement in the campaign), and make them do a rendition of a wet wet wet song, with Xmas lyrics!"

"Pure genius" says P.A. number two, disengaging his mouth from his bosses phallus momentarily (P.A. one was out getting bagels and mocha lattes).

"I know!" said talentless fuckwit, puffing his chest out, and ejaculating a quarter teaspoon of self-important jism into P.A. 2's waiting cakehole.

Don't get me wrong, I think wet wet wet are cool, and Marty Pellow is one sweet looking dude.

They write awesome music that is great to do your housework to, to miss your boyfriend who is in the Armed Forces to, or to slap in a movie like Notting Hill.

It's harmless, let it be.

But to change it to this:

"Christmas is all around me,
and so the feeling grows,
If you really love Xmas,
come on and let it snow,
I love Xmas,
I always will.
My minds made up, the way that I feeeeeeeeeeeeeeel...
Come on and let it snoooooooow"

...is just sacrilegious.

The little baby Jesus wouldn't have wanted it, and I don't either.

They could at least have selected a few personalities (and I use that term loosely, because *all actors are whores, who sell their souls for $) who can actually hold a tune, let alone sing.

Once again, they have cemeted themselves as Channel 9's low-rent, slightly retarded younger sibling.

9 even has a big important multi-storey tower on Chapel Street, so their respective coke dealers are all within stumbling distance, AND a big-ass production studio in Richmond. What's 7 got?

That fucking moronic choad-loader Tom Williams, forgetting to play a $100 guitar he's embarassing by association, by pointing and hitting himself in the head, when he should be miming better?

That's what.

I mean, WTF is that?

It's almost as shit as when that Oral B voice-over asshole says "This man is a dentist, so we can't show you his face on television".

Really? Why is that? Because it's bullshit!?

I think I hate TV, and need a life.

They really do think we're stupid, and the worst thing is...most of us are.

Hopefully this Humvee/Stealth Lamborghini hybrid will turn up under my tree this year!


(Does not exist in reality, so don't get your hopes up).

*Don't be offended, I'm a musician, and everybody knows we're the biggest whores of them all.



This is knifey, from 'the internet'.