Wednesday, December 22, 2004

WHY HANSEL DOBBS NEEDS THERAPY.

There exists a sterotype overseas, of Texans.

Texans have a reputation as among the worst of American sterotypes (the loud tourist etc...), as being arrogant, homophobic rednecks and nigger haters.

I'm from New Zealand, so I'm down with the brown yo.

And Hansel Dobbs unfortunately, reinforces this negative sterotype of a State of people who in reality, are a proud, creative, and generous bunch of down-to-earth, productive people.

I *heart* Texas, like I *heart* Walker Texas Ranger (and that's a lot).

You may recall Hansel, from this post.

There, I raged on about how furious I was at his decision to spam the comments sections of my friends with unsolicited links to a pathetic viral marketing pyramid scheme, who's only benefit to the user, is an ego-stroking increase in web traffic.

Pathetic.

The scheme (called BlogExplosion) gives uncreative and unimaginitive people the chance to get more hits and comments on their blogs, as opposed to the scant few they receive currently, having nothing fresh, creative, or new to say.

Instead of writing something people will want to read, or pouring your creative energies into making a simple blog page something bigger and more entertaining, the scheme ties you in to having to read other bland useless blogs, so you can all feel popular at the end of the day.

I hate popularity contests, but I hate spam more.

After commenting on Hansels comments section, I watched as not only my protest at his behaviour, but any others that were there previously, disappeared.

He maintains to this day that he doesn't spam.

But yesterday, he left me 28 comments in one post, where he not only posted at length about sexually transmitted diseases, but also about sexual positions for homosexual men, and gay and lesbian relationships.

He doesn't seem to realise yet, but he accidentally posted one of the 28 under his actual username.

If history shows us anything about Hansel, he will freak out and delete the comment when he reads this, but I have saved the web page, and will post it up here when/if he does that.

I take it from this he sees some correlation between gays and disease?
How very progressive.

At last-his true colours are revealed.

In short, instead of apologising about spamming bloggers, he decided to fix the problem by not only spamming more, but by doing it like a coward, under aliases (BungeeJuice and Justice.)

He has also started a myspace account, just so he could send me this message-

From: Kevin
Date: Dec 21, 2004 11:07 PM
Subject: Fuck you asshole
Body: Your music sucks you Australians fag.


Thing is, he's such a genius, he put his actual town in his profile, making it obvious where this vitriolic and homophobic outburst originated from.

Kevin


Male
53 years old

ROCKWALL, TEXAS
United States


Last Login: 12/21/2004

He couldn't be much less intelligent really, could he?

Well, no aliases for you Hansel.


Hansel Dobbs, aka 'BungeeJuice', aka 'Justice'.

Blogger is currently looking him over for these breaches of the Terms of Service.
After yesterdays effort, I am supremely confident this redneck, gay-bashing, "entrepreneur" will be banned.

If you read this post from his blog, you will see he feels persecuted, when people don't let him have his way.

"That's right! Lobsters! If you put a bunch of lobsters in a bucket; if they just piled onto each other they could get out and when by chance one gets close another will grab him and pull him back in. This is the way people are. They are lobsters trying to keep me in the bucket when I am trying madly to get out of it because they don't want anyone around them to get out. It's easier to believe it can't be done when no one around you is doing it."

Here is his web page, this is where he works.
Here is his email, feel free to sign him up for as much spam as he can handle.
His cell number is 1-214-728-6862, call him up anytime.
His fax number-
1-214-853-4703.
And lastly, his address- North Texas Appraisal Services

2824 Misty Ridge Ln Rockwall, TX 75032-7290.

I'm not breaking any laws here, as all of this information is freely available on the internet, through his own blogger profile.

Oops!


2416 McKinley Ave
Fort Worth, TX 76106-7742
(817) 624-2912

He has disabled comments, so anyone who pops in to see his blog won't see anything negative written about him, and he spams others boards under aliases for the same reason.

For my money, he's the biggest piece of shit in the entire Dallas/Fort Worth area, and I'm very much looking forward to watching the powers that be yank his bland, uncreative excuse for a blog right off the blogosphere.

Bye bye Hansel, hope it was worth it.




This is knifey, from 'the internet'.

42 comments:

sylvie said...

oh man. ive been to texas many times and i have a lot to say about that. although i live in a conservative county (orange county, california) , west texas makes the OC looks like san francisco on E. the homophobia, racism and close mindedness makes me dizzy. and for some reason a lot of texans are nationalistic about thier state when they have never even ventured out of it. i use to complain about the OC but now i know there are worst places to live. dont live in lubbock , texas.

knifey said...

"San Francisco on E"...that sounds like a happy place indeed...with rainbowz and unikornz 4 eva!

I still haven't seen the O.C, maybe I should check it out.

Hippo said...

The quest for hard fake boobies should never be given up on.

Dr. H.O Potamus

Psst, it's me! said...

"Let's go to Luckenbach, Texas with Waylon and Willie and the boys!"

Psst, it's me! said...
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Kitten said...

Mara, He's going to be checkin you out as soon as he sees that...

And Knifey, I am worried......

knifey said...

What are you worried about Kitten?

You've Got What I Need... said...

shitgoddamn knifey! This is a bonafied feud there partner! How amusing to know that you can beat the shit out of this fellow without even having to leave the comfort of your own continental shelf~~~
Friggin sweet yo & fight the good fight

knifey said...

I'm king of the smackdown, virtual or otherwise.
Besides, his name is HANSEL!
He's a walking joke without me.

Psst, it's me! said...

What'd I say?

The Pink Kitty said...

That was awesome! eheheheheheh! I hope he gets his. What a complete loser :)

you're the best Knifey and that's why we love you and actually read your blog!

p.s. SF on E would be a happy place indeed!

knifey said...

Yes, I am the best, I really am.

And I love you too!

I know for a fact you have a vested interest in the SF on E deal, don't you, you naughty bayside resident, you?!

FreedomGirl said...

Poor Mr.Dobbs, are you sure he isn't 13?...his actions seem so 7th grade. When they say things are bigger in Texas...who'da thunk they meant evil?

knifey said...

I haven't met many 13 year old real estate appraisers, but you never know, do you?
(817) 624-2912

Kitten said...

My love..er *lust*, for you knows no bounds, but you my dear, are incorrigible.

Psst, it's me! said...

What happened to Bach?

sugar and spice said...

you took this guy down knifey.

you're just like a rock'n'roll, internet version of Columbo.

i can't understand why he kept pushing the letter like that when ultimately he would be taken down. never again shall anyone underestimate the power of knifey.

Lee Lee said...

*puts $10 on Knifey winning this*

morgan said...

knifey-san,

you post a beautiful, lyrical ode to a lost lover and that shit gushes out of your comments section ??? oi.

that boy has just decompensated big time. years of being stuck in the redneck God fearing closet and he's finally snapped.

aside from all that i'm so very not happy he's forever sullied one of our favourite pop culture references - he's so not right now.

xx

Lee Lee said...

So I went back to http://hanseldobbs.blogspot.com/ after lunch because I was a little angry at being charged $7 for a sandwich with 1 filling and wanted to hold on to the steam a little longer and I realised my guided anger was spot on to a fairly good target! He’s totally on the blog roll for Bush! http://www.blogsforbush.com/ which is almost like being a card carrying member of the KKK!

FYI. His comments are back up. Smoke him

pauly. said...

Hello there Mr.Knifey. Seems you have another fan: http://laurakarot.blogspot.com/2004/12/artistic-expression.html
She doesn't name you exactly, but I'm pretty smart & have deciphered her riddles. She'd like you to wash your hair.

Jess said...

Is his lady-friend Miranda Airey-Branson II?

I'm beginning to worry that these dreams of ritualistic stabbings, bloodletting cults, and accidental shootings are signs that there is something wrong with me. I am not a dark person. I love the color pink, I teach at an elementary school, and I love Jesus. Where is this sick stuff coming from? How is it appearing in my subconscious?Satire or sincere? You decide.

knifey said...

He's been deleted.

Dobbs=0.
Knifey=a gazillion-thousand.

BungeeJuice said...

Knifey, knifey, knifey. I am not going anywhere. All of my posts are backed up. My html is backed up and if I get kicked off then I will create another one under a different email address and keep on going.

You will never find the NEW blog, but I know where you are.

YOU ARE MY NEW HOBBY!!

You can run, but you can't hide.

P.S. All of that information off of my business site is useless. I am cancelling that website as soon as my subscription is up. I work for a firm in Dallas now and I don't have my own company any more as of right now. All of that stuff is useless. I haven't even checked that email address in months. I have no idea what is in there. So email away. Waste even more of your time. Go ahead. I know you will because you have nothing else to do.

BungeeJuice said...

You think I am deleted. I changed the address you dumb Australian ass.

Dobbs = 10,000 Texans

Knifey = 0 Dumb Australian Assholes

knifey said...

You just make yourself look better and better, don't you Hansel?

And you missed the point again.

I personally don't need to know where your new blog is.
But Blogger know where it is, and they will delete every new account you start, because you lack the intelligence to get the message, and stop spamming users comments.

Besides, thousands of people every week are seeing this post I wrote, and your awe-inspiring retorts to it. That's satisfaction enough.

knifey said...

"You can run, but you can't hide."

As if I'd ever run from you, pencil dick!
What's the weather like over there in fantasy land?

pauly. said...

Laura Karot was Hansel's girlfriend. "The most beautiful girl in the world" was the link he had to her site. Her last post was the one I tried to link to, but it seems her entire blog has been deleted. She only had abut 5 posts in total. The last post was entitled "Artistic Expression" & went a little something like this: Check. It. Yo!
(I'm paraphrasing with an awful memory & a worse hangover)
"It seems that there are some horrble people out there with a bad attitude & bad music & greasy hair who think that anger & angst = art.
I don't want to mention any names, but he rhymes with gnifey"

It was longer than that, but you get the general idea.

Gretel Karot: 0
Knifey: eleventy-seven.

knifey said...

You mean a female of the species loves that mentally unstable limp dick?

I've heard that abused women still stand up for their man, even though they get beaten on.

It's a strange fact of psychology.

FYI- My hair is lovely, my hairdresser told me.

knifey said...

Either that, or laura is another of Hansels many aliases...I think this is more likely.

He did it before when he was 'Justice', and again when he was 'Kevin' on myspace.

I like the way he accuses me of wasting so much time on the net, when he's the one creating profiles all over the place to make himself look more popular (just like blogexplosion).

Loser!

FreedomGirl said...

Loser, indeed! In need of medication, probably. Tiny, microscopic penis, most assuredly. Being a loser is the LEAST of his problems!

Lee Lee said...

Keep the chasing up through the Bush Blog Roll as well.

knifey said...

No need to chase- he had to change his blog (or so he says) to avoid deletion, so my work is done.

That makes every link he ever posted about BlogExplosion a broken link.

He's history.

And even if he does start a new blog that I can't find (impossible), then no one else can find it either.

Hansel loses, and knifey is laughing.

Trent McMann said...

Either way, the first thing that comes up on a Google for Hansel is "Hansel Dobbs Needs Therapy."

Oh, snap.

Jeremy said...

lol

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