Thursday, September 23, 2004

Things will Suck.

Rex climbed out of bed, and headed straight for the shower.
It had a multi nozzle system, bathing him in eight seperate jets of hot,pure water.
When finished, he towelled himself down, and ordered the computer that was his house to cook his breakfast.
"Mashed potato, fried tomato, English muffins (four), thinly sliced avocado on the side, with pepper.
Orange juice, cup of tea (six sugars and milk), a bowl of crunchy nut cornflakes, and jam on toast."
He checked his reflection in the mirror, as he brushed his teeth.
When he enters the kitchen, his food is ready and waiting.

The year is 2015, and Rex is a major player in the world market.
He provides everything you will ever need, straight to your door, for a one thousand percent mark-up.
Online shopping.
He eats parts of his breakfast, dipping toast into his tea, sipping orange juice,
ignoring cornflakes altogether.
Same goes for the avocado. He can't stand avocado, but breakfast just seems plain without it.
Rex likes the way things look.

He steps over the monkey, and takes a seat in the lounge.
The computer saw him coming, and adjusted the temperature and lighting in the room before he left the table.
The plasma screen monitor was on standby, playing a screen saver of rolling waves off the coast of Japan.
"Email!" barked Rex, just because, when you're Rex, you can do what you like.
His inbox appeared, 4 metres wide, and totally empty.
"You have no new messages" breathed the computer.
"Fuck you!" screamed Rex, to which the computer added nothing. It was used to Rex, and his simple ways.
"Television!", Rex barked again.
His television complied, bathing the monitor in all the digital glory of channel one.
"Next channel...", Rex again.
"Next..."
"Next..."
"Fuck! Next..."
"Jesus Christ! Next..."
...and so Rex surfed.
He had 2000 channels, all perfectly rendered, and with surround dolby sound.
After an hour, he arrived back at channel one.
"Email!" (guess who?)
"You have no new messages".

But what did you expect?
Just because it's the future, doesn't guarantee there'll be anything decent on tv,
or that you'll miraculously have friends who'll want to keep in touch.

You'll still be you.

Sorry.

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