Thursday, September 30, 2004

All My Friends Are Murder Victims

...to paraphrase someone no-one seems to like.

So here it is- I have INSOMNIA.
I don't have a shitty movie starring on Al Pacino on DVD, I mean the real thing.
I can't sleep until the sun has well and truly come up, like around lunchtime the next day. It sucks.

I sleep in the afternoon, and wake up after dark.
My face isn't liking the sleep defecit, believe me.

And so I watch TV.

Problem is, the networks (being the total and utter cunts they are) keep changing the shows around. Just as soon as you get into the groove with one show, they can it.

Like 'Action'.
God I loved this show! It has my vote for best TV show eva (mainly because Illeana Douglas *swoon* was on it).

It's gone now, so I'm gonna help you out by posting my picks of late night TV's Greatest Hits, but only if you live in Australia.

-MUTANT X.

I love Canadia (I can spell, I'm just being cute in the hope some bored young internerd hottie reads it and wants to date my awesome sense of humour), but if there ever was a reason to hate them, this is it. Everything people in Canadia (heh heh) have ever filmed in their country is horseshit. Really.

Starring Victora Pratt, Karen Cliche (a pratt and a cliche, and I've only just begun!) and a couple of male models, this is a show like Dark Angel, except unlike Dark Angel, it sucks the chrome right off my trailer hitch (and not in the good way).
IMDB says: "A fugitive geneticist and four of his "creations" search for others of their kind while attempting to stay a step ahead of a morally ambiguous government agent."
I say: "We wish we were X-Men".
Still, I should stop concentrating on the negative, because it has a good point (singular).
The evil nemesis is like some supervillian mutant Andy Warhol. Beat that!
Anyways, they all have special powers and zzzzzzzzz.............

-Walker Texas Ranger.

Put simply, if you haven't seen this show, you are an asshole.
All you need to know, is Chuck Norris is the protagonist, and he kicks the crap out of guys like me every Wednesday night after Letterman. He's so cool he even has his own action figure!
The story lines are so middle America Anti-drugs/Stay in School Bobby etc I'm amazed I even like it, but there's so much asskicking in it it kinda makes up for it.
Besides, Chuck even fought Bruce Lee, it doesn't get harder than that.
I'd like to see you hassle him for being a ginger nut!

I can't be bothered doing any more of these shows, besides, I think they're the only two half decent (I said half) shows still on late at night.

I don't have any stunning finale to this blog unfortunately, so I googled 'best picture ever', and it gave me this:



Google = awesome!




This is knifey, from 'the internet'.

1 comment:

Lee Lee said...

I am giving you a selection of my favourite books so you never, ever have to go through this type of trauma AGAIN!

XX