PENIS ENLARGEMENT!!!

...no, not for me silly!

There's a show on TV called 'Body Work', and they feature things like Paula's transformation into a real woman (good on her!), Anne-Marie's GG breast reduction (so she can realise her dream of becoming a personal trainer), and Roxanne the idiot, exploring the utterly bourgeois art of permanent makeup tattooing ($2300). She even gets a local anaesthetic! What a punisher!
And of course, after she gets her lips finished, she decides she doesn't like the colour *pukes all over her face*.

But Steve the ex Marine is the guy getting his dick track remixed. The coolest thing about Steve is, as a young man he looked exactly like Tom DeLonge from Blink 182!
Cue lots of stupid TV tricks like Steve barbequeing sausages, and mentions of his "lengthy procedure"...get some new tricks you TV bastards.
The evil thing about Steve is, he went ahead and made baby sons with his wife, without any thought for the locker room anguish those poor kids are gonna get from well hung studs like me.
I'm a bastard, I know...

Paula has a new vagina now!
The doctor is inserting a 'dilater' (a dildo to you and me), to make sure the vagina doesn't close up. It's either use that for 20 minutes a day, or have lots of sex- yum!
Maybe I could get a job as a dilater operator for people who have just undergone gender reassignment? I'd be awesome at it!

I will never get used to seeing doctors going to work with the liposaction vacuum cleaner...that's some savage shit people! *shudders*

I have bad news for Steve though.
It's not going to be any bigger when erect, and who cares anyway?
I've got an enormous member, and I have never had women chasing me down the street to get some. OK, so I do have women chasing me down the street to get some every day, but that's different. I'm hot. So why bother, especially that late in life? Call me insensitive (go on!) but I just don't get it...unless you're Paula or Anne-Marie.
He should invest his savings carefully, buy a ridiculously expensive sports car, and drive it down Chapel Street like every other mid-life crisis.

I have to go check out Channel 9's Greatest Moments now, to see if they include one of my two 3 and a half minute visits on their network.




This is knifey, from 'the internet'.