I used to be totally paranoid that Big Brother was going to store all of my
personal information in a big Oracle database somewhere in Virginia, so the next
time the cops pulled me over for not wearing a helmet, they'd not only know I was regularly
pulled over for that self same reason (messes up my hairstyle), but also exactly what I had
for breakfast, whether I was into S+M, and if I knew anyone who bought discount irradiated
Russian fertiliser lately.
Paranoid, that is, until I realised that no matter how amazing the technology is,
it's still just a bunch of dumb cops and public servants, entering the data.
I'm from a Dutch family, and I can't remember the last time a member of either genus had
correctly copied my name from a form of I.D. to a document. Why? Because it never happens.
They get it wrong.
Every time.
Which ultimately means I won't get heavily busted for anything, although statistically it will
transpire that most helmet violations are committed by a gang of Dutchmen,
with very similar names, and great hair.
Big Brother can't spell.
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