Argh !!!

Talk about odd!

I came home from work just now, to find my Korean housemate pissing on my polished wooden floorboards.

Maybe you didn't hear me?

I came home from work just now, to find my Korean housemate pissing on my polished wooden floorboards.

My Korean housemate is over here studying English at The University of Melbourne, but at first I thought he was a member of the Korean Olympic door-slamming and never-paying-your-bills Team.

It's been a strange week for bodily excretions.

So I walk in, he looks surprised, i crack him across the back of the head with my helmet, and he goes running out the door and into his room, with his little penis dribbling a yellow morse code across the hallway.

Which, as always, reminds me of a story:

It is a little known fact, but it is a fact, that the Chinese Government hatched a secret plot back in the late 1950's.

This plot, involved popularising the term "little doodles", as in, sketches or drawings.

It was thought that if they could bring the term "little doodle" into popular slang, by both osmosis and the ripple effect, people would subconsciously associate that with having a little penis, and would therefore embrace the concept of little penises as being a perfectly valid and wonderful choice.

Clearly the Chinese had a great deal to gain from this.

Unfortunately for them, they didn't count on the 'Australian contribution'.

As we all know, Aussies are the most self-effacing and relaxed people in the world, and their use of language reflects this.

Secret Chinese Governement Agents were horrified to discover in the late 80's, that Australians had started to employ the term 'just' before 'little doodle', as in "Oh, that's just a little doodle I did while waiting for the train", thus retrivialising little doodles, and setting the secret Chinese Penile Empowerment Program back about 50 years.

Apparently Korea is suffering from the same problem/

I'm so tired I keep almost nodding off while I'm writing this, so I'm not really able to process logically why a grown man would feel like pissing in my room.

Was he marking some imagined territory?

Was he trying to get hit in the head with a helmet (if so, it worked beautifully!)

Is he trying to teach me a lesson for not liking him?

Is it some weird custom I have never heard of?

Maybe I'll never know...

I'm going to start locking my door from now on, and tomorrow, I'm going to throw him in a bath full of cold water, and show him what we do to grubby little c***s down here in Ostraya.

Maybe I'll even put ice in there, just to be totally asshole-ish.

Anyway, what I really wanted to say was, I am starting up another blog, strictly for art only.



Check it out here (the bare bones at least), and if you want to be linked to (you have to do some form of art that I like, please), hit me up (email is in my profile).

And don't be offended if I don't like your art, it's subjective, you know?

I don't like most things, so it would probably count as a badge of honour.

Sleeping now, pressing 'publish post'.


This is knifey, from 'the internet'.