Sexxx Pizarty Etiquette.

I went for a lovely walk this evening (if you can count running from The Melbourne Police Chopper "a walk") in North Melbourne.

And of course I thought about sexxx.

There's just something about the world, when the sun is shining, the air is still, the sexxx organs of all the plants are pumping pollen everywhere like it's a bukkake DVD, and every girl in Melbourne feels the need to wear their tightest, sheerest, shortest items of clothing; that activates my pheremones like a thousand hot little Voltrons, and makes me want to put a very special part of me, inside a special part of you.

And you feel it too, I know.

People smile at each other a lot more.
People go to a lot more effort to look good.
People want to sexxx party.

I had a dream last night, all about me, Clem Bastow, and Ms Fits. Guess what we were doing?!

Now, let's get one thing straight- these 2 ladies are total hellcats.
You don't mess around with people like this, unless you're well-prepared. Like the sexxx-mafia. They can spit you out before you know it, and BAM! You're at the bottom of the Hudson river wearing a concrete prophylactic.
They live the kind of life you could only read about, because there's simply no way you could actually keep up, unless you too were a vixxxen of the sexxxual artz.
If you want to get down with Clem and Ms Fits, you'd best bring your A-Game. They are the deadliest tag-team DJ squad in Melbourne tonight.

Understand this- I have never had a threesome in my life.
I have had about 3 sessions with 4 people, 1 with 5, and around 7 with 6 plus, but never just three. I'm actually serious. But Clem and Ms Fits have sexxx party 4 breakfast!!! They throw the burned out husks of their male victims out with the trash of a morning!!! They break hearts like they buy shoes (think Imelda Marcos here)!!! I sure use a lot of exclamation marks!!!!!!

So I wondered about etiquette.
What are the rules for such an encounter?
Dreaming about it was easy. Clearly, they were both there for me, and as such I could do what I wanted. "Hmmm, think I'll ram this up there. Yeah, that's pretty good! But what will happen when i do this?! Oh hell yeah I had no idea Clems whole leg could fit up my ass like that! Maybe I should untie Ms Fits now? Nope."
But that kind of behaviour would quickly get you a stilletto in the hoo-ha's, if you tried it i.r.l.

How does a 3-way pash work? How does one approach it?
Normally when you kiss someone for the first time, you feel them out so to speak, to ascertain how to best meld your kissing style to theirs.
But with 3 people?!
Or is it a matter of ditching style altogether, and just going full-porn into the bargain? Like bobbing for peach slices- no hands allowed, and slippery as all get out?

And who gets what where when?

You know what? For something that sounds like a great idea at first, it sure sounds like a lot of work.

I'm going to bed.





This is knifey, from 'the internet'.