Don't read it, it's dirty...no, seriously.

As usual, this blog is gonna be all over the place.

Originally, I wanted to talk about how, on my way to work, low cloud descended over the city of Melbourne, until it looked there was a roof on the city, suspended by Melbourne central, The Rialto Towers, and The Arts Centre Spire.


Melburn represent.

I wanted to talk about how beautiful it looked, and how I hate myself for not bringing my camera (this isn't the real reason I hate myself, but it will suffice for now).


So I stole this one off the internerd.

I wanted to talk about how suddenly the world seemed smaller, and all of its problems and difficulties felt that much more manageable, like conditioner for a dry/greasy planet.


I'm like, a total foto thief over here!

But then as I rode through the city, my beautiful rainbow revealed a crock of piss and vinegar at the end.

Every drunk idiot just had to walk in front of my bike.
Do people know how fucked they are when they're drunk?

Every idiot taxi driver just had to cut me off, in the most dangerous of places and ways.
An interesting aside is that I am a notorious tough guy, and whenever a taxi cuts me off or annoys me in any way whatsoever, I take their aerial.

Like, I take it off their car, and take it home with me.

I started doing this 3 weeks ago, and already i have forty-eight.
P.S, I'm not kidding.
So if anyone knows what I can make or do with them all, hit me up at knifeyard@gmail.com, and let's get this party started. Or should I say, reception.

God, that was lame.


This is why I call them "road maggots".

Anyway, to cut a long and meandering (some would even say diaphanous) story, tale, or whatever you would like to call it on its merry way, to cut to the chase so to speak, to get right to the meat and potatoes of the situation, to cut the bullshit and...what was I saying again?

Oh yeah, people are fucking idiots.

And while I love this world, and all of the amazing minds and creations and art and words and music and culture, and all that good stuff, i really fucking abhor people.

Chances are I even hate you.

So by the time I got home I was just fuming (I snagged four aerials tonight, one on Toorak road, two from the Arts Centre, and one from Swanston street).

But that's not even what I'm here to talk to you about.

I was marinating on the word 'piss', as in pissed off, and it got me thinking about porn.


Wassup old skool?

Those of you that have spent time with me won't be even slightly surprised at this, knowing as you do that I am a former porn actor.
Those of you that don't know this now know it anyway.

Please don't tell my Mother- at this time she still loves me.

Back in the day, porn was all about a hairy man and a blonde with green eye shadow having sex on 16 mm film.


The Hedgehog, hard at work, so to speak.

Then came video, and Larry Flint, and Clintons refocus of The Justice Department (under Janet Reno, U.S. Attorney General 1993-2001), deprioritising Federal Prosecutions under the banner of 'Community Standards', in favour of National Security. This put the Obscenity taskforce out of business, giving a virtual green-light for producers of porn to get they shit orn.

And get it on they did.

The Adult Industry made incredibly lucrative deals with Corporate America, pumping porn not only into homes through Cable, but also into Hotels, and most importantly, the internet.
Vivid video (The Adult Industry's biggest name player- Jenna Jameson was a Vivid contract girl), have a deal with direct TV, to channel porn into 4 million American homes every month. Direct TV is owned by General Motors.
'The Hot Network' is available through AT&T Broadband.
Porn is available in your Hilton, Weston, or Marriot Hotel room, through Lodgenet, or On Command Video
It costs virtually nothing for companies to carry this programming, yet they will pocket up to 80% of the porn dollar.
Make no mistake, porn is big business, and through their association with big business, it has now gained a protective layer of legitimacy.
At the end of the fiscal trading period for 2003, Vivid recorded sales of $150 million.

The shocking part of this equation is, that the corporations that carried Vivid programmes, pocketed eight times that amount.

"That's a whole lot of clams".

Now as you know, when you have something on tap, you get bored of it fast. If you want porn, and you have a net connection, you can have it for free.
Because of this, over the last 8 years or so, I have noticed a marked swing in taste, from the aforementioned Ron Jeremy and Ginger Lynn style porn of the 70's and 80's, through the bikini babes style MTV porn of the 90's, to what we have now.

The biggest growth Industry in porn today, is fetish.


It's art, you know.

Bondage, Sadism and masochism, Beastiality, Pregnant sex, Rape fantasies, and yes...paedophilia.
It's the saddest fact of porn, that the harder you can get it, the harder you want it.
The turning point came, so to speak, with the rise in popularity, of the facial/oral cumshot. Once this little trick became not only acceptable, but suddenly de-rigeur, there was no turning back. The people have voted, and they have voted to cum all over your face.


Are you ready for me baby?

About paedophila...
We're not talking sick, twisted, old men in raincoats here.
We're talking your Fathers, your brothers, and yes, your sisters too. You never know what a persons fetish is unless they tell you, and believe me, the statistics are staggering.

It's easy to write these people off as just sick, although technically they are. But it goes much deeper. 'Sickness' is diagnosed, at least in a mental health sense, in relation to the community in which it appears.
It is no longer considered sick to masturbate (generally speaking).
Even a little spanking, perhaps some food play is no longer too far out, as society loosens its belt buckle and realises there is more to this sex thing than missionary, and doggy for when you're feeling really nasty.

As highlighted by the recent slew of arrests in Australia's paedophilia driftnet, the people who love seeing naked children were rather surprising. Sure, there were members of the Clergy (no surprise there, some would even say it was to be expected), but there were schoolteachers, politicians, child psychologists, and every other occupation you could imagine.


Naked children and pissing go together like violin crescendos and chloroform.

My point here is that these people aren't the evil predators that 60 minutes would have you believe. they are just really maladjusted, and in need of help.

Help, not prison, people.

I was raped as a child, so don't go thinking I'm preaching out of ignorance. I've also spent a lot of time behind bars. i'd like to think I have a really good set of
experiences from which to base my thought process.
And my thought processes believe that we need to find these people, and hospitalise them.


A typical porn user...apparently.

We need to look after them (as well as keeping them out of schools/churches/the streets in general), and we need to stop thinking that we can just lock them up and the problem will go away.

Because it won't.

And I wouldn't go blaming porn, either.
Like all things, the only way to illumunate our collective way through this most murky and ammonia-smelling environment, is to communicate.

Blame, in general, sucks.


Does this turn you on?

For me personally, the trend that is most off-putting, while still being legal between consenting adults (or toddlers at the local pool) is pissing.

Now let's get one thing straight- I don't like urine.
I don't like my own, so why I'd like someone elses all over me or even in my mouth is just beyond comprehension.
But a lot of people on this cute little bluey/green planet of ours do.

They love it.


Now THAT's what I call biological warfare.

More and more on the internet, regular image galleries (designed to promote traffic to specific sites featuring related content, like XXX Hardcore ad campaigns), are increasingly making room for piss fetishism.

If you don't believe me, do a Google image search for 'piss', and make sure your adult content filter is off. Although, I wouldn't recommend it. Or you could look for 'golden showers', 'H2o water sports', or 'public accidents'.

What is it that makes this desirable?
Is this a publicly acceptable way to express yourself sexually?
Can you believe me, of all people, just asked that question?!

In order to find answers to my questions, I found the one site on the internet that isn't in German, and found a lot of this:

“I’m really sorry”, Debbie gasped turning to talk to Lisa with a look of panic on her face, “I just can’t take this much longer, my tummy feels like its on fire”
“Oh God”, continued Debbie sounding really short of breath, I honestly feel as if I’m going to wet myself any minute”.
No more than fve minutes had passed since her making that statement, and in the quietness of the lift I suddenly heard what sounded like raindrops splashing onto the floor of the lift.
I quickly glanced down at the floor underneath where Debbie was standing and noticed a few droplets of pee had begun to appear on the metal floor of the lift.
My eyes were out on stalks. Debbie had one hand jammed hard against the front of her skirt, and was sucking in deep breaths of air though her teeth.
I knew that her actions were the last steps in a frantic attempt to stop any more pee from escaping.
It was obvious that she was fast losing the battle, and for the next few minutes, Debbie stood there frozen to the spot while the pee continued to run down the inside of her legs.
My penis was rock hard, and my pulse was racing from watching this girl standing in front of me slowly wetting her knickers. I honestly felt as though I was going to start to cum in my pants any second.

This is an example of one kind of piss fetishism, known as 'female desperation'.

For some people, watching girls squirm with discomfort as they try to hold in their urine is only bettered by the eventual release of said yellow liquid.

Now please understand, if you enjoy this sort of thing, I'm not judging you.
But I am admitting my total ignorance of exactly what it is that works for you.
I mean, if a girl pissed on my shoes while we were trapped in an elevator, I wouldn't hate her, but I wouldn't get off on it either.


I censored this pic for Mookies. She doesn't like porn.

But the thing that I really don't get is the sudden proliferation of mainstream pornstars (Ava Devine comes to mind), who are not only fine with making money this way, but who actually like it also.

It all makes me wonder how far it's all going to go?
Where will porn be in 100 years?
Because we're already pushing the envelope of fetish in the mainstream.
Will the Christian Family Values Stormtroopers bring it all down?
Or will a new generation arise, raised on serious hardcore on command, that will repeal obscenity laws and create a utopia for piss drinkers and bukkake enthusiasts everywhere?

We're all guaranteed to have some seriously weird dreams tonight- eat some cheese before you go to bed. Let's just trip out on this shit.

I'll meet you all in the great subconscious...naked, preferably.



This is knifey, from 'the internet'.