Oh, you want HOTNESS, huh?

As you all know, I've let many famous and glamorous people hang out with me, because as well as being incredibly proficient in the art of word-play, I'm also quite generous in the spirit department.

At the end of the day, they're people too.

Even if they sell millions of records, or have perfect bodies, or had their cock chopped off by their angry and abused ex wife Lorena, they still deserve the goodness that is my company.

And so it was with this in mind that I let Annalise Braakensiek into my life.

You all know her from the TV, from the live tour of Fat Pizza, or from your grubby little fantasies.

But I know her because we met at a Channel 10 post-Logie Awards party (to which none of you were invited), and spent all night until the late morning talking each others respective ears off about all kinds of things you normal people will never, ever know.

Ooh! The mystery!

Here are my 2 favourite pics of her:



and:



I like these ones best because they are the only two pictures in the whole world where you can't either see her boobs, the outline of her boobs, or the cleavage between her boobs.

By all reports they are great and amazing, but I have this thing where, if I'm friends with someone, seeing their rudie-bits is at least off-putting, but more often just plain unsettling.

Like watching Mum and Dad have sexxx.

I will, out of the goodness of my heart, divulge one thing Annalise shared with me that night, because I know you're all thinking "What do hot models and rock guitar players talk about when they're all alone, after Television's "Night of nights"?

It's called 'Israeli Salad'.

That's right knifey fans! They swap recipes, like a couple of old grandmothers at a church fair!!!

Here's what you need:

ISRAELI SALAD.

(all ingredients to taste)

shredded lettuce
shredded rocket
european parsley (finely chopped)
coriander (finely chopped)
1 can of chick peas
1/4 spanish onion
cherry tomatos
cubed lebanese cucumber
skim milk feta
olives

dressing- lemon juice, olive oil, salt, pepper, zahtar.

Throw it all together to taste, and Ariel Sharon's your uncle!

In future, I will bring you superstar recipes by:

• Australian Idol, Guy Sebastian.

• The voice himself, John Farnham.

• Channel V's host with the most, Andrew G.

• Jesse Hooper (of Killing Heidi).

• A bunch of American porn stars you've never heard of, unless you're dirty.

Next time, on cooking with Knifey though, I will bring you the 'Mark Wilson from Jet all-salami diet'.

If you think I'm kidding, just you wait and see...

And no, I honestly have never looked at Annalise's boobies, not even once.




This is knifey, from 'the internet'.