Terminal Wanderlust...sort of.

This time last month I was feeling really unhappy, so I got on a plane without telling anyone, and went to Japan for the night.
I have no idea what I was thinking, all I knew was I was hurting like crazy in Melbourne, so I ran off to Osaka instead.


This is Japan !!!

I used to live in Japan in the late '90's, so I knew my way around OK.

So after waking up at Kansai and taking the train to Namba, I made my way to the old neighbourhood, and sat in the laundromat opposite my old apartment at #201 Seifu Mansion Building, 3-11-9 Moto Machi, Naniwa-ku T556.


This is like a train version of the iPod...I totally want one.

It was like I was some crazy stalker, but instead of creeping someone else out, I was stalking myself in a happier time.

It was 3 in the afternoon, and all I had with me was:

• 1 iPod,
  
  
• A daypack, containing soap, a towel, a razor, clean socks and underwear,
  
  
• My laptop computer,
  
  
• 'Oyster' magazine (because I'm a closet fashionista),
  
  
• 'While you were Sleeping' magazine, and a
  
  
• Packet of blue anthistamines that I use to make me sleep on planes.

I looked at my old place for a while, through the steamy window of the laundromat, and had a good cry, right there where everybody could see.

It felt amazing.

After this rather out of character episode, I headed over to Den-Den town, and had a look around, eventually buying myself a new pair of headphones.
I bought a can of Pocari Sweat also, then spat it out and reminded myself to remember it actually tastes like sweat in future.


I don't know who Pocari is, and I don't want to.

By the time I got back to Namba, it was dark.
Because I hadn't organised a hotel, I figured my best plan of attack was to just go sit in one of the sixty-billion shoebox bars that line the side alleys near the Shinsaibashi.


This Mall is more than 3 kilometres long, and can contain a million people at any given time. Just not now.

It was Gomi night (or 'hard trash collection' to you Aussies).

I found a Sony 29 inch Trinitron TV with remote, 3 Playstations, and a P.A. System (minus speakers). If you're reading this in Japan, you're probably going "big deal, so what guy?", but back in Ostraya, it's a bit of a culture shock.

As providence would have it, the Bar I went to (Bar Get) had their P.A. system die on them 3 songs into my arrival, so i told them I had one to sell, and they said "hell yes".

So I went back 3 blocks to where I found it, and wheeled it (it was in a rack case) up to the bar.

From this transaction I made a healthy 63,466 Japanese Yen in 30 minutes.
That's about $800 Australian.

I figured I was good to go for a hotel room at this point, but then i met Rebi.

She was a ski instructor who split her time between Osaka and Nagano.
And she convinced me to forget about getting a hotel, and to just come back to her place instead.

Trust me, it wasn't a hard idea to sell.

We called in to the Family Mart (Japanese 7-11) for supplies, and bought some unusually thick Japanese bread, processed cheese slices, Chicken 5 minute noodles, Meiji butter (in a tube), and a shitload of orange juice.


Family Mart 4 eva.

Then we went to her apartment and forgot all about making food completely.
(We made something else...)

I know it's considered bad form to get over a broken heart by having quite possibly the best sex of your life with a total stranger, who looked better than anyone who you have ever seen before, or since.

But I'm sure I'll find a way to deal with the disappointment.

I don't want to get all Penthouse Forum on your asses, but I have to say this:
It was a muggy night, and after a few hours of doing 'that which shall not be named', we were both covered in sweat, to the point we were literally slipping and sliding all over each other.

Add to this the fact that Rebi's natural lubrication valve must have been salvaged from an overly libidinous rhino or some other enormous animal, and you've got all the ingredients for the sexiest night of you-know-whatting I have ever known (and I've known more than 3).

We didn't sleep at all that night, electing to stay up, eat noodly cheez sandwiches, and laugh instead.
And I have to say the conversation was every bit as good as all that came before it.

Rebi drove me out to Kansai again at lunchtime that day, and I came home.

All up, the entire jaunt cost me $600 (not including headphones). My Mum had bought me a scratchie the week before, and when i got back, guess how much I had won?

That's right math fans- $600.

Some things are just meant to happen, wouldn't you agree?

Anyway, the moral of this story is- if you called me last month, and i didn't pick up my phone for once, now you know why.


Shrine on baby...shrine on.





This is knifey, from 'the internet'.