I love my business, and so do a lot of other people. And I'm very protective of it, and as weird as it is, I just won't sell bikes to unscrupulous people, or the people who work for evil companies.
I'm sick of banks, telecommunications companies, insurers, etc going to work, raping the public, then leaving work and wanting to hang out with/socialise/be a part of the society they as a whole, are undermining or straight up destroying...one individual at a time.
It's like, if you're an evil person, go be evil away from the rest of us, BECAUSE WE DON'T LIKE YOU.
Every now and then (actually quite often), I receive emails (always from people's work accounts!), trying to buy my bikes. These people work for the big banks, or Telstra/Optus/Vodafone (but mostly Telstra).
And I reply to them in what I'm sure is quite a novel way.
I have included an example below, from my inbox this morning. And while the recipient will most likely shake their head in disbelief, then get on with their day, or, print it out and hang it up for the other Telstra vampires to have a laugh at, of course they will be missing the point.
You are all that is wrong with the world. You can't work for a company that hurts people, or that puts quarterly rises in profit above service delivery or even just being a human, and expect to be not tarred by the same brush.
Reply to>
Liam Wilkinson Senior Recruitment Specialist- Corporate
Careers Centre | Talent and OD | Human Resources
PHONE 03 8647 4302| FAX 03 950 5592
EMAIL liam.wilkinson@team.telstra.com | WEB careers.telstra.com
Hi Liam,
To confirm, you wish to purchase the following bikes-
- Micargi Prado Deluxe
- Nirve Switchblade
We are an ethical company that believes in putting people first. In this regard we operate and maintain a register of businesses that run counter to this ideal, and we under no circumstances deal with, or supply in any way those businesses. Telstra is, and always has been, at the top of this list. Also, anyone who works in or for human resources anywhere has no chance of being supplied by us.
I know this is very different to what you may be used to, but we don't believe the colour of everyone's money is the same. We promote freedom, honesty, and fun, and are one of the only businesses we are aware of that maintains those ideals above all others. We're happy to make money, however selectively. Choppers are cool...we keep them that way.
As long as unethical businesses rape the public interest and harm individuals, the people who work for or in those businesses should create and enjoy their own subculture, because ours is not for sale. We keep our prices low, and profit through quantity of turnover.
If you'd like to sign up for a 24 month plan where you pay 100 times what the bike is worth, and receive a package of perceived value-added extras that are in fact worth 5 cents each, I'm sure we can put something together for you. We will then break this contract at our own discretion, remove your access to the bike, and refer you to a debt collection firm, for no reason other than "it just happens sometimes". We call this our 'Telstra package'. Alternatively, you may fill out a 6 page privacy-invading and mind numbing questionnaire/interview process where you have to tell us why you are the successful candidate for the bicycles in question. This is our HR discount deal, and is increasingly popular with people who like to lie and/or waste their time.
I know this transmission may be a humorous joke to you, but we take it seriously. You are evil by association...Go play golf.
Best- J. 'knifey' Vanderwerff.
This is knifey, from 'the internet'.
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