MASONIC YOUTH.

You know you're old, when you start seeing the differences between you, and "the kids nowadays".

There's no denying it, when you repeatedly catch yourself saying things like "back when I was a teenager..." So, I've just decided to face it - I'm OLD. I'm 34, and even though I reportedly don't look like it, I've decided to stop running, and to just let it go ahead and ass-rape me for all it's worth.

Why not? Make a day of it.

It's not like life has beaten me into a decrepid and creaky submission. I'm OK. I have been through plenty in my advanced years, but i can still whup-ass at GTA-3: San Andreas, and play guitar like a...well, you know. I wear jeans and trainers every day, and all my shirts say 'Iron Maiden' or 'Motorhead', just like the current state of street fashion dictates. My shirts are 18 years old, but that's just between us. I ride home- made custom junk choppers, and sneak into movies without paying. I masturbate, and wipe up my cum with my socks. So what's the difference?

Well, I'll tell you. It's them.

"Back when I was a teenager", I remember if someone older walked in, and was cool, we'd respect them way more than we would if they were our age. Example: Andy Goodman was in his early 30's when i was 17. He played drums, and freeloaded off his millionaire parents in their insane beachfront mansion in New Zealand. He was into surfing and hot models called Margot, and being wasted 100% of the time. In my eyes back then, he was like the coolest guy ever, because he was older. If I met him tomorrow, I'd think he was a waste of space, but a fun guy to have at your BBQ. I hope he doesn't Google himself.

Point is, we respected age back then. We weren't so arrogant to think we had all the answers. We didn't. But just so long as you weren't a teacher, a parent, or currently working in law enforcement, you could be OK by us.

Fast-forward to modern times, where we all fly around in rocket cars and have lightsabre duels all day. To kids now, age isn't cool, it's a disease. In some ways, I like what they have done with the whole 'being young' thing. You can have odd, high maintenance hair, and lots of tattoos, and you can cry whenever you want, even if it's in the middle of a song you're singing. Especially then. They've constructed this whole post-hardcore/emo scene where they get to sing about their issues (don't tell them they have the same issues as every other teen everywhere), glorify suburban life over the current inner-city stereotype, and make being into metal cool again.

Thing is, if you're over 25, you're pretty much not welcome- even if you're Bob Mould from Husker Du, and you pretty much kicked off the whole thing in the first place.

Check it out- I'm now of the generation that 'the kids' blame for fucking up the planet! *scratches head a lot.*

These kids have taken teenage rebellion to such an extreme that it's so all-or-nothing and you're-either-with-us-or-against-us now that their manifesto (written in tear-stained mascara) reads more like Bush foreign policy than good time party fun at 16.

I was MSN-ed a while back by some 16 year old plastic vagina from Myspace.com, who read my profile, listened to one of my songs, peeped my pictures, and decided I was cool. So we're chatting about music, and how hot I am, when she asks me my age. I told her, and like all the food in Africa, she was gone. Instantly.

I could just picture her in her parents house in Orange County, California, shivering and desperately tring to rub off all the old-person germs I had infected her with from across the internot (sic), smearing her foundation away from her orange skin, and uneating all over her keyboard. I didn't feel rejected, but i did wonder what the point of it all was. One second I'm so cool she can't believe she's chatting to me, the next it was as if I had shot fish guts out of my cock and all over her face, all at the drop of some arbitrary number that has no bearing on my life an more than my drivers license number or address does.

Who do kids think they are anyway? With their cynicism, and their bad manners? Who do they think came up with that shit in the first place? I'll tell you who - OLD PEOPLE, that's who! Like me!

It's like they had a secret teenagers-only summit meeting, and a consensus was reached on all the things that they would label as cool. Things like Converse sneakers, breakdowns in the middle of songs, and wearing their sisters mascara, irrespective of their gender. Then they all agreed that from this point on, they would all believe they had invented these things (not late 70's pool skaters, original oi punks, and Robert Smith in that order), and that no further correspondence would be entered into. That's like me deciding 'your car' is 'my car', and me just taking it right in front of you like C.J. from the Grove Street families. And that sucks for you. Being cynical wasn't something these kids earned as armour against their lives, they've co-opted it as a fashion statement. It serves no real purpose, as a lot of these kids I'm talking about are extremely well catered for (read: spoiled senseless). Fashion is expensive, y'all. Besides, everybody knows poor kids listen to Snoop and Dre, not Poison the Well and Coheed and Cambria.

So what does this all mean? Well, probably nothing.

I'm just exercising one of the many rights bestowed upon the aged, namely, the right to rant and rave, and shake your fist or rolled up newspaper at God, even if you're all alone in the middle of a park, and not be arrested.

I have decided to start a new movement. I wanted to call it "fuck the kids", but I thought the Catholic Church might think I was trying to move in on their territory. So I'm going with 'All kids are assholez" instead. Note the 'z' for added flava.

Basically, it's all about rubbing shit in the faces of all those little separatist age-nazis, by confronting them with the truth of ULTIMATE REALITY. And that is this- old people are like zombies. We may never be young like the kids again, but given a long enough time line, we're pretty much guaranteed to make you one of us eventually, even if you kill us all. So suffer in your jocks, you little shits.


This is knifey, from 'the internet'.