CONFESSION.

I love Hollywood movies. I love big dumb Hollywood movies that are basically ads peppered with gunfights, puns, and soft porn, I really do. I love it when the hero systematically kills every bad guy in the film, and if you're lucky, has a punchline for each of them. 

I love it when the helicopter rotors almost decapitate the protagonist, and then totally decapitate the evil villain (but not before he sees them coming, and takes pause to say "Oh, shit.") I love it when Maverick goes into a 4-G negative dive, while inverted with a MIG-28, and is so cool and hot and full of donkey sperm, he flips the Russian pilot 'the bird', just to remind him that "We rule and you suck". 

But once in a while, as a point of contrast, it's so nice to see a movie that has none of that, a movie that simply warms your heart. Like chick flicks. I like those dance movies where the white ballerina moves to the ghetto and gets schooled by a bunch of no money-havin' black kids, and they all win a billion dollars beating her old snooty high school in the National Championships, and then they all fly away on Pegakorns, and no one has a smack habit or listens to wack beatz. 

Real life situations like that just make this life so much richer. And it's things like that that keep us interested, in this thing called 'life'. Things like driving too fast, having your anus massaged, reading the things I have said, they're all absolutely crucial in setting the boundary between living and mere existence. Living and just being. 

I can't eat a chocolate without smelling it first. Not in any suspicious way, it's just a moment of enjoyment, a 3 second health spa for olfactory nosegasm. You unwrap it, bring it up to your face, then, with your lungs totally empty, you slowly breathe it all in. After doing this, you find the chocolate itself is only half as good as that moment preceding it. But you eat it anyway, because, let's face it, we're all just pigs. 

Sure, some of us are really good at denial, and changing our behaviour. But then you're just a trained pig, and I think that's even more embarrassing. Better to just be what you are, celebrate it, be natural. I for one, am not going to be an affront to nature, by not eating chocolates. That's how humanity got so screwed up in the first place.


This is knifey, from 'the internet.'