Friday, March 31, 2006

Ghost Exhibition.

Wow! It's ME!!!!

I've been gone so long I feel like I've hacked into someone else's blog and am just taking over. It feeels deliciously naughty. I've been doing all kinds of new things, like making choppers, teaching young children, and having diarrhoea. Awesome!

But this post is a tiny taste of a project that, apart from through this, you will never see in person.

A while back I was contacted by a gallery who shall remain nameless (Why? I don't know! Intrigue? Or maybe I've lost my badass backbone lately. I'm cool either way), who asked if I would like to participate in a group exhibition opening on March 15 (the day before my birthday). Being a classic overachiever, I decided it would be a sterling idea to cram one extra thing into my year before I turn 35...I mean, 25. So I replied "yes".

And I thought to be different, I should avoid doing a canvas like everyone else. Seeing as I like guitars and cool stuff that rules, I figured I'd paint up a guitar. So I took one from this:

To this:

(Don't hate me for my shit photography. There are so many better reasons).

Anyways, to cut a long story short ("Too late!" you cry as one voice!), I sanded it down, and filled in the holes, and painted it up, and got it all ready, and put a neck on it, electronics in it, and some strings on it, and...I never heard back from the gallery.

And you thought ROCK AND ROLL was a fast-paced, take-no-prisoners-, balls-to-the-wall, fast express train to Hell?! That's got nuthin' on THE ART WORLD!

I would have cried, if I had a heart.

Speaking of which, and in totally unrelated news, I'd just like to say I totally disagree with the current cult of personality surrounding Melbourne's Lord Mayor, John So. "SO WHAT?" - that's my slogan. Everyone seems to have forgotten what the Mayor does- he runs the council! The council, seeing as you have all forgotten, along with the State Government, is the entity which takes your rates/tax $, and spends them on ridiculous things you never wanted (likeThe Commonwealth Games, which made it impossible to get to work for 12 days), all the while making it as hard as possible to open a business due to their ridiculous zoning laws, or take down that rotting awning from the front of your heritage listed building, without a work permit, a demolition plan, and about six other forms which cost hundreds of dollars.
Besides, if Andrew Bolt likes the giggling little bee-hotch, I HATE HIM. Come down AC/DC Lane again any time soon, and I'll kick your ass all the way back to Hong Kong, with a demolition application stapled to my high tops. "Let there be rock" indeed. Rock all up in your ass.

Ahhh, I feel 100% better! Thanks readers!

Did you know, my Word Verification field says "v6g1na"? Today is going to be incredible...

This is knifey, from 'the internet'.