Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Laughing in the face of ARMAGEDDON....

There is a cafe I like on Brunswick Street in Fitzroy, called Mario's.

I first went there with my old friend Clem, and I saw Red Symonds having breakfast. If that isn't a portent to evil things, I don't know what else to tell you. But seriously, I like it because if you're the richest guy in the world (I'm not, by the way, just to be clear), and you're arrogant or an asshole, they'll tell you to fuck off, and tell your friends to as well. Total class. They don't need your business, they probably don't even want your business. But if you go in there and show some goddamned respect, hell, they'll make you lunch, and do a bang up job of it. I love that! It's Mario's place, and if you're a cock, you can cock off back to cockland with your cock friends. It's a lot like Hellbourne Choppers, only the food is way better at Mario's.

So what does that have to do with the Armageddon? Nothing really. My friend ____ works there. He's a guy I used to know back in New Zealand. We're the same age, and have been around each other in one form or other for years. He worked the Metallica crew with me all those years ago, when I raided their dressing room and ate all of their fancy desserts while they were onstage. Total badass, back in the day. So, he knows me, in ways people here in Australia just don't. And I like that. Loads.

Anyway, the great and amazing thing about ____, is that you can hit him with any subject, and he can give you the full geopolitical/emo-spiritual/socioeconomic rundown about it, no matter what it is.

By way of example, he popped by Hellbourne Choppers today for a sit on the bean bags and a listen to Megadeth, and I asked him if he has also noticed (as I have) that more and more people around us are totally losing their frigging minds, and literally going insane. Like..total denial of reality, "I am in urgent need of calming drugs" kind of sub-cranial malaise. He said "Sure!", as if it's a totally normal thing that's going on, and not to worry. And then he did his rundown thing, which took us through the following subjects:

-Drugs,
-Astronomy
-U.S. foreign policy (of course), with a particular focus on Cheney,
-Ancient Babylonian history
-The origins of the monetary system,
-Leprosy (not infectious when under treatment),
-The Old Testament,
-Nuclear Physics,
-White Zombie (the band), and of course...
-Agriculture.

I just want to fall in love with him so bad, because anyone that can make a subject span that many fields of interest simply has to be the greatest and best catch in the known universe. But alas, I'm hetero, and...well, that's all the reason I need, right there.

But after talking about all that, and a bit more besides, he said "But none of it really matters, because there is a giant comet that will utterly destroy all life on this planet in the year 2019."

I dunno.

Maybe I should have gone "Oh my god!!!! REALLY???!! But there is so much I still want to achieve!", but I didn't. I smiled from ear to ear and said "Well alright!", just like Brett Michaels from Poison used to all the time. To be honest and truthful with you, and as much as I like living, and culture, and things about the world, the idea of all of this being annihilated in the near future just fills me with relief.

I think it's high time we fucked off and stopped acting like these little soap operas we call lives actually mean anything in the grand scheme of things, as if we're anything more than the faintest blip on the galactic radar (if that!), and that our existence is not only NOT a necessary precondition to the ongoing rhythms of the universe, but that it is in fact totally and utterly irrelevant to it, even right now while we're all still here and alive and annoying.

Is that negative?

So I laughed, and I felt so much better, being hit in the face with a nice fat dose of perspective. I'm one pathetic life form among trillions on this earth, that spends most of its life riding between work and home, little boxes both, trying to gather tokens with which to accrue products and services, and occcasionally venturing out into other new boxes, interacting with all the other wildlife, and generally wasting the universes time. Nothing I do matters, whether this comet hits, or we're swallowed up by the sun, or even if nothing happens at all. And you know what? That's allright and groovy. I'm not more important than a rabbit, or a rock, or a mountain, or a shit. And that's ok. And the bills and rent and 'whether this girl likes me for me, or just for her idea of me' and the headache I have and whatever else are just random concepts that may be having an instance in reality, but only in MY reality. And considering the enormous confluence of realities intertwining and radiating out in all directions, none of it matters. Is there life on other planets? Who cares? because iff there is, they don't matter either. The universe is an enormous vast cold and hot periodic table 100 kilometres above your head, bubbling and freezing and expanding/contracting outwards and inwards in every direction forever and ever.

And we're not even a spot on its ass.

I think I've made my point. So if I die in my sleep, don't be sad. And if I go apeshit loco crazy like a bunch of other people I know lately, it doesn't matter. And the same goes for you. Just enjoy your time, while you have it, whatever that means. Try to not step on anyone else while you're doing it if you can, because the rest of us have our own dramas to deal with. That would be greatly appreciated. But yeah, live your life because you might not have it 5 minutes from now. And don't go thinking that anything that happens is good or bad or otherwise, because none of it matters.

But remember, if you go to Mario's, don't be an assshole.



This is knifey, from 'the internet'.